Marriage Is A Dance

I love this quote by Amy Bloom. It reminds me of my wedding day and how I came to look at marriage.

“Marriage is not a ritual or an end.
It is a long, intricate, intimate dance together,
and nothing matters more than your own sense of balance
and your choice of partner.”

Mere moments after having been pronounced in marriage, with jubilant feelings all around, our dear friend Grace came over to congratulate me. Being that she had been married for over 60 years, and was a very wise woman, I asked her if she had any advice for this just-married bride. “Marriage,” she said with a penetrating glance, “is a dance.” Her words hung in the air as I looked into her tender blue eyes came to a new understanding of marriage within minutes of my “I do’s”.

Grace had long been my image of the ideal wife in the perfect marriage. In her revealing eyes I saw that there was no such thing as a ‘perfect’ wife or a ‘perfect’ marriage. I realized that there is the one man and the one woman who are willing to move into the dance of marriage together. Sometimes they’ll move together gracefully and in sync. Sometimes they’ll step on each others’ toes and lose the beat.  And sometimes they’ll struggle to lead or follow. It was a dance that would have its ebbs and flows with time.

In that moment I felt lighter than I had since being engaged. Lifted was the pressure to be the ‘right’ person and do the ‘right’ things in order for my marriage to succeed. I knew now I simply needed to be willing to hold my husband and be held by him as together we dance through the intricate and intimate moments that our marriage will surely bring.

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